This one goes out to the Ladies

Fern here. To talk about the best red wines to drink while you have dancing red goblins inside your uterus punching you with steel gloves. And by dancing red goblins, I mean crying Drakes with psychedelic acid tears.


We badass feminist chicas get as much shit done as we do when we are not on our periods—-there is no cool red tent in the middle of the desert with straw beds to escape to with all our friends and husband’s mistresses and bleed everywhere.

During our sacred time we still vote, we work our full time jobs (although we don’t quite get paid as much as our male counterparts), we go to boxing class, we read books, we hike mountains, we have rosemary for our yoni parties.

However, it is important to have some ‘me time.’ And what is more ‘me time’ than drinking wine and watching Gilmore Girls or New Girls… or Girls, while laying the fetal position and farting?

First of all (in a long Island accent) we need

And this…..


And of course this..


And we need a wine that can hold up with the large amounts of meat, cheese and chocolate we will be consuming. We also need a wine that will parallel our big feelings.

 Lets break it down: Sweet, Salty, Rich, passionate, sad and self-reflecting.

I am not as much of a wine-o, so I’m gonna pick a wine I’ve had before that is pretty bad and pretty good simultaneously—-Just like our activities and behaviors when Aunt Flo stops through.

7 Deadly Zins Zinfindel from some winery in California. It doesn’t matter, you can find it at virtually every grocery store ever. It’s a little sweet, a little complex, a little bit romance novel.

Dopestwinetaster’s notes: fruit blah blah

It’s a winner, and it’s affordable. We need to spend our money on chocolate and food tonight.

Bleed well lady readers, bleed well!

Dopeness: 6/10 (but we can’t handle any higher)

Affordability: 9/10


2 thoughts on “This one goes out to the Ladies

  1. Fern! You may be the Hunter S. Thompson of wine bloggers. First: love the uterus self portrait. Mine would have little Marilyn Mansons and possibly a John Boehner sidekick if I had a painful cysts. Secondly, chocolate, pizza and cupcakes are fine but don’t leave out our friendly fried foods like French fries, churros and deep fried snickers bars – all pair perfectly with a Midol Advil cocktail. Makes me a happy cramper!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s